Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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