we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
