i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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