I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
