Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
