but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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