Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
