she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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