she was so not down for the gang bang
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
