...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize