What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
