He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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