I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
