She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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