I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
