I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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