so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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