get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
