bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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