Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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