When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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