hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
