dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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