i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
