Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
