I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
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i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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