nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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