Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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