Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
