Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Four minutes until I can fart!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We left an ass print on the piano.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
