On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All the doctor said was why
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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