so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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