Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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