after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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