worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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