cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize