That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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