So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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