i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
