remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
