dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
