So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
