Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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