Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
