Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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