If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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