Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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