i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
