I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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