Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
