just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
