too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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