She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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