Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
