hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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