We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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