yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
that's an acceptable place to lick
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
