she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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