The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
