Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
