So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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